E-mail, sent late Monday night

[needsaparrot]

To: wrosenberg@councilofw.co.org.uk
From: purplefrog@yahoo.com
Date: 11/12/2007

Dear Willow:

Stuff I did since the last time I e-mailed you:

• Write letters to other people the really low-tech way (candles, spell, not mine, no Latin in front of the books)
• Embrace the pirate stereotype.
• Build a white picket fence
• Go to a wedding with Bridge. Also not mine so stop making that I'm-so-gonna-punch-you-on-the-arm-when-I-see-you-buster face. (Nobody got punched at the reception, either, dammit. I had money riding on that.)

Stuff I didn't do:

• Tell my new tenant she blew up the Hellmouth in our universe. Among other things. Yeah. Her. Yay Fandom?
• Figure out what's up with the Slayer Not Currently Breaking My Brain suddenly getting the creepy future-telling dreams now that her evil twin brother's gone dustyside. Anything you got on that, shoot it my way? All she knows so far is she's supposed to fix something, which in terms of complex prophetic messages is about like a fortune cookie that says "Hi, you're a Slayer."
• Send the first version of this e-mail that actually made sense and didn't read like somebody typed it in a clinic exam room after staying up all night because their boyfriend has a case of we're not sure what yet. Possibly the flu's bigger, meaner cousin who used to beat up strep throat for its lunch money in seventh grade. I don't like it and I vote you send me Buffy to kick its ass. That would be cool.
• Lick the frog. I just didn't have dinner besides muffins and doughnuts which was really breakfast and I haven't slept yet and I think the coffee in here was made by the big rock-monster-person that works at the post-office because she's here and also it tastes like it was made by a rock-monster. Yay rock-monster because at least it's keeping me awake. Which is good. I forget why.

love,
Xander