MCA0: Waaaaaay too freakin' early Monday morning

[needsaparrot]

That sound you hear would be Xander snoring.

That sound Xander hears would be.... the... nonononononononono doorbell.

And then there is no snoring.

There's just Xander muttering "Nononononononono..." and trying to shove his head under a pillow.

And then there's the doorbell again.

And the pattering of tiny feet a herd of tiny elephants towards it.

That sound would be Xander jumping out of bed and tearing out of the bedroom, yes.

[For, uh, the people from last night. Cookie for anyone who can tell me why the deliveryman is so, so, so wrong.]

Comments

[needsaparrot]

"No, but I seem to keep getting it anyway." Xander shakes his head, then peers down at the box. Which... is an awful big box for pizza. Plus, it has holes in the top. Which might be a new kind of venting system or something, but, well, it's an awful big box for pizza. "Pepperoni?" he asks hopefully.

[notlostyouare]

The guy shrugs. "You can call it whatever you want, dude. All I need is a signature." He hands over a clipboard.

And then the box makes a noise.

[notlostyouare]

And that would be Bronwyn scrambling down and trying to peek in the holes at the top of the box. "Daddy daddy daddy daddy oh em GEEE!"

[needsaparrot]

Xander starts to sign, then takes a closer look at the addressee. Mostly because he's hoping it's a delivery for Aly. Or Jean-Paul and the lady with the massive ocean-front property.

"This is addressed to her." He points. To Bronwyn.

Because he's an idiot, he realizes a second later, but it's too late for that now.

[notlostyouare]

"It's for meeee?" Bet you didn't know Bronwyn could bounce even higher.

You do now.

[notlostyouare]

The delivery man shrugs. "You can sign for her."

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn rolls here eyes again and tugs on Daddy's sleeve. "I can do it myselfs! I know how to write my name."

When he blinks and hands her the pen and clipboard, verrrrry carefully, she prints B-R-O-N-W-Y-N H-A-R-R-I-S C-A-R-S-O-N, then hands it back to the man with the box. "See?"

Then she turns to her Daddy and starts bouncing again. "Can we open it now oh em gee oh em gee oh em geeeee?"

[needsaparrot]

The box makes another noise, one Xander doesn't really have a problem identifying as Not Pepperoni.

Then there's some scratching, and it starts opening itself. From the inside.

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn crouches down and helps. As you do.

"Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!" says Bronwyn.

MEW! says the box.

Or what's in the box.

Really loudly.

[needsaparrot]

*facepalm* says Daddy.

[notlostyouare]

"S'a kitty!" Bronwyn shouts. "Kittykittykittykittykitty!" She reaches into the box to pick it up.

[needsaparrot]

"Oh, god, I'm gonna kill me when she gets home," Xander groans. Then, "Or somebody else." The delivery guy is adjusting his cap and setting down another, smaller box that appears to be full of supplies. "Who sent this?"

Not that he doesn't have a suspicion.

[notlostyouare]

The guy shows him the clipboard again.

[needsaparrot]

The Oxford billing address only confirms what Xander already suspected.

"PARKER!"

[notlostyouare]

"MEW!" says the kitten again.

"Daddy, too loud!" Bronwyn tells him, covering the kitty's ears with one hand while she holds it in the crook of her arm. "Aunt Parker can't hear you 'less you call her onna phone anyways."

[needsaparrot]

"Oh, don't worry, I will," Xander replies.

[notlostyouare]

"There's a card?" the deliveryman offers. "It's addressed to a X--" He squints at it. "Xander? Harris. Or Bridge Carson."

[notlostyouare]

"That's him!" Bronwyn points, still cuddling the kitten. "Well, just the Xander part because Bridge is my other daddy and he's still asleeps. See Harris and Carson 'cause that plus that equals me! You want me to go get him? He needs to meet the kitty anyways! I'll go--"

[needsaparrot]

At the deliveryman's pained look, Xander puts a hand on Bronwyn's shoulder. "We can get him in a minute, hon. I'll take the card." He holds out his hand.

[notlostyouare]

"It just says payback's a--" The guy looks down at Bronwyn as he hands over the card. "Uh."

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn peeks up at it. "That's a bad word. It's not a nice thing to say about a kitty."

[needsaparrot]

"I don't think it's talking about the kitty," Xander tells her, rolling his eye at the card and tucking it into his pocket.

[notlostyouare]

"Have a, uh... nice day."

Xander eyes the delivery guy to see if he's snickering as he shoulders his messenger-bag and heads down the hallway, but he doesn't seem to be.

[notlostyouare]

"Byeee!" Bronwyn waves. While bouncing. The kitten squeaks, so she bounces a little bit slower, and cuddles it with both hands, leaning her head over to talk to it.

"HI, kitty, I'm Bronwyn! Bronwyn Harris Carson and my Aunt Parker sent you so you can live with me and my daddies 'cause we gots a little 'partment but there's still room for a kitty even if I can't gets a baby brother yet..."

[needsaparrot]

Xander's bending down to grab the box of supplies -- and the empty kitten-box, but when he hears that, he straightens up and herds Bronwyn into the apartment, shouting "BRIDGE!" as he shuts the door behind them.