MCA0: Waaaaaay too freakin' early Monday morning

[needsaparrot]

That sound you hear would be Xander snoring.

That sound Xander hears would be.... the... nonononononononono doorbell.

And then there is no snoring.

There's just Xander muttering "Nononononononono..." and trying to shove his head under a pillow.

And then there's the doorbell again.

And the pattering of tiny feet a herd of tiny elephants towards it.

That sound would be Xander jumping out of bed and tearing out of the bedroom, yes.

[For, uh, the people from last night. Cookie for anyone who can tell me why the deliveryman is so, so, so wrong.]

Comments

[notlostyouare]

"Daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy daddy somebody's here!" Bronwyn is halfway to the door already, bouncing and pointing to it.

[needsaparrot]

"I can hear that, yup." Xander runs his hand over his hair. "But you shouldn't be answering the door by yourself."

[notlostyouare]

"I know thaaaaaaat." Bronwyn rolls her eyes. "Not 'less it's somebody we know and I can see their sparkles and no d'rect invites 'cause they might be vampireses. That's why youuuuu gotta answer it!"

[needsaparrot]

"Plus I'm big enough to beat up whoever thinks it's funny to show up here at--" Xander checks his watch as Bronwyn grabs his other hand to drag him to the door. "Holy crap o'clock in the morning."

Except for how he was mostly concerned that it might be somebody who needed help, since that's who usually showed up on his doorstep at Holy Crap. But he doesn't want to freak Bronwyn out, so he doesn't say that.

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn bounces up and down, trying to see through the little hole in the door that is not at the proper height for almost-big kids at all. She huffs and puts her arms up. "Wanna see!"

Ah, yes, that's better. "S'man inna hat. With a box!"

[needsaparrot]

Xander groans, reaching for the doorknob. "Parker sent us pizza again. Great."

[notlostyouare]

"Yay pizza!" The fact that it's Holy Crap o'clock really doesn't concern Bronwyn. First because she's five and second, please. Look at her parents. It's not like it's the first time she's had pizza at Holy Crap in the morning.

When the door opens, though, something doesn't seem right. "That's an awful big box for pizza," Bronwyn says to the man standing there.

"Uh." The guy looks at her daddy. "You ordered pizza at this hour?"

[needsaparrot]

"No, but I seem to keep getting it anyway." Xander shakes his head, then peers down at the box. Which... is an awful big box for pizza. Plus, it has holes in the top. Which might be a new kind of venting system or something, but, well, it's an awful big box for pizza. "Pepperoni?" he asks hopefully.

[notlostyouare]

The guy shrugs. "You can call it whatever you want, dude. All I need is a signature." He hands over a clipboard.

And then the box makes a noise.

[notlostyouare]

And that would be Bronwyn scrambling down and trying to peek in the holes at the top of the box. "Daddy daddy daddy daddy oh em GEEE!"

[needsaparrot]

Xander starts to sign, then takes a closer look at the addressee. Mostly because he's hoping it's a delivery for Aly. Or Jean-Paul and the lady with the massive ocean-front property.

"This is addressed to her." He points. To Bronwyn.

Because he's an idiot, he realizes a second later, but it's too late for that now.

[notlostyouare]

"It's for meeee?" Bet you didn't know Bronwyn could bounce even higher.

You do now.

[notlostyouare]

The delivery man shrugs. "You can sign for her."

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn rolls here eyes again and tugs on Daddy's sleeve. "I can do it myselfs! I know how to write my name."

When he blinks and hands her the pen and clipboard, verrrrry carefully, she prints B-R-O-N-W-Y-N H-A-R-R-I-S C-A-R-S-O-N, then hands it back to the man with the box. "See?"

Then she turns to her Daddy and starts bouncing again. "Can we open it now oh em gee oh em gee oh em geeeee?"

[needsaparrot]

The box makes another noise, one Xander doesn't really have a problem identifying as Not Pepperoni.

Then there's some scratching, and it starts opening itself. From the inside.

[notlostyouare]

Bronwyn crouches down and helps. As you do.

"Daddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddydaddy!" says Bronwyn.

MEW! says the box.

Or what's in the box.

Really loudly.

[needsaparrot]

*facepalm* says Daddy.

[notlostyouare]

"S'a kitty!" Bronwyn shouts. "Kittykittykittykittykitty!" She reaches into the box to pick it up.

[needsaparrot]

"Oh, god, I'm gonna kill me when she gets home," Xander groans. Then, "Or somebody else." The delivery guy is adjusting his cap and setting down another, smaller box that appears to be full of supplies. "Who sent this?"

Not that he doesn't have a suspicion.

[notlostyouare]

The guy shows him the clipboard again.

[needsaparrot]

The Oxford billing address only confirms what Xander already suspected.

"PARKER!"

[notlostyouare]

"MEW!" says the kitten again.

"Daddy, too loud!" Bronwyn tells him, covering the kitty's ears with one hand while she holds it in the crook of her arm. "Aunt Parker can't hear you 'less you call her onna phone anyways."

[needsaparrot]

"Oh, don't worry, I will," Xander replies.

[notlostyouare]

"There's a card?" the deliveryman offers. "It's addressed to a X--" He squints at it. "Xander? Harris. Or Bridge Carson."

[notlostyouare]

"That's him!" Bronwyn points, still cuddling the kitten. "Well, just the Xander part because Bridge is my other daddy and he's still asleeps. See Harris and Carson 'cause that plus that equals me! You want me to go get him? He needs to meet the kitty anyways! I'll go--"