It's an E-mail! It's a Linkdrop! It's a floor wax *and* a dessert topping!

[needsaparrot]

To: Parker
From: Xander
Date: Wednesday, October 17th

>Half relieved not to be there, half very very very ... concerned for you. And Bridge. And the others. Gah.

On the other hand, you're missing possessed board-games with funny monkeys. And, okay, man-eating spiders, but what's a little man-eating between friends, right?

Go ahead. Take it. That was me handing you the straight-line on a plate.

>*mutters to self in Chinese and wishes for you to be unemployed in secondary job*

How about underemployed? I'd settle for that. Keep the Slayer, lose the vampires. She could save the world from dust bunnies, mimes, and bad cheese. Oh, or we could just hire her out to protect all the other kids from the Invasion of the Parents this weekend, poor bastards.

No, I'm not sure if I mean the kids or the families. Better them than me, is all I'm saying. Thank God all I have to worry about is the evil undead.

And the bad cheese.

~Xander

Comments

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

TO: Xander
FROM: Parker
DATE: MONDAY, OCTOBER 22

Parents are inexplicable. Even the cool ones, or so I've heard. What the heck did you do to keep her entertained all weekend? Play Scrabble? Introduce her to possessed board games? Did she figure out anything about Fandom and have a heart attack at you?

At least you're not seventeen and she can't threaten to take you out of school any more. Wow, I'm looking forward to that. Someday.

How did Bridge handle it? He was all anxious about Commander Kitty or whoever anyway.

Parker

[needsaparrot]

TO: Parker
FROM: Xander
DATE: Monday, October 22

>What the heck did you do to keep her entertained all weekend?

I helped kill vampires while she went around the island asking everybody if they knew I was Gay Now. And buying me towels. As a Gaywarming Present.

Good news is the vampires are gone? (Bad news is the guy that brought them here was Mel's brother, and... yeah. Exactly as bad as it sounds.)

Bridge was fine. Bridge was Bridge -- polite as hell even when he was turning purple and OH GOD SHE TALKED ABOUT US SHOWERING TOGETHER I'D BLOCKED THAT OUT TIL NOW.

I'm just gonna go out and hit the post office to check if that vodka's here yet.

~Xander

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

TO: Xander
FROM: Parker
DATE: MONDAY, OCTOBER 22

It's wrong that I fell off my chair laughing at the idea of a Gaywarming Present, right?

>Good news is the vampires are gone? (Bad news is the guy that brought them here was Mel's brother, and... yeah. Exactly as bad as it sounds.)

...although that pretty much killed it. God. Poor Mel. Anyone get hurt? Aside from the mental/emotional trauma?

>OH GOD SHE TALKED ABOUT US SHOWERING TOGETHER I'D BLOCKED THAT OUT TIL NOW.

!!!!!

Your trauma is worse than any trauma my dad has ever inflicted on me. Ever.

Just for that? I'm glad I sent the vodka by Portal-o-city. Heck, it might have gotten there yesterday.

Parker

[needsaparrot]

THIS WAS TOTALLY SENT BEFORE THE WEDDING OKAY? JUST...CLOSURE

To: Parker
From: Xander

>Poor Mel. Anyone get hurt? Aside from the mental/emotional trauma?

Rikku got banged up pretty hard, which is what sent Mel in after him by herself, but she's okay. Physically at least, and that's getting to be a same-old-song around here.

~Xander