MCA#0, Monday Night

[needsaparrot]

Xander was trying Isabel's number again - the twinkiephone had a pretty amazing range, after all, and he could hope - but just like the first time, it rang and rang, until at last it kicked over to voicemail. This time, though, he didn't leave a message, just thumbed the End Call button in frustration.

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[OOC: For Bridge]

Comments

[needsaparrot]

Xander frowns. Well, frowns a little more. "Oh?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"I did the same thing. Twice."

[needsaparrot]

"Ah. Yeah. Kinda." Xander retreats towards the nearest couch, and waves at Bridge to sit down. "A little less with the sounding like you weren't planning on coming back, but yeah."

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

Bridge does sit, drawing his knees to his chest and resting his chin on top of them. "This sucks," he says eloquently, actually finishing his thought this time.

[needsaparrot]

"Worrying about people?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"I worry all the time," Bridge says. "But worrying and not knowing *anything*, that- I don't like it." Don't like it was possibly an understatement.

[needsaparrot]

"If it makes you feel any better, I'm used to it and I still hate it." Xander pauses, then snorts. "Wow, that was dumb."

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"It doesn't," Bridge says, though the corner of his lip twitches in a tiny smile. "Points for effort though."

[needsaparrot]

Xander gives a little laugh. "You get why I talk about premature gray hair when you pull that, now?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"Yeah," Bridge admits sheepishly. And leans over to peer at Xander's hair. "Don't see any, though," he offers.

[needsaparrot]

"It's hiding. Lying in wait. I've still got three and a half years before I turn 30. Give it time."

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"Tired of giving it time," Bridge mumbles under his breath.

[needsaparrot]

Xander caught at least part of that, but not enough to make sense of it. "You what now?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"The way I feel about you- it... hasn't changed, since you left." Bridge says.

[needsaparrot]

And Xander's been pretending about this for so long that he's not even sure what he's pretending anymore. That he didn't see it coming, maybe.

"Bridge..."

Yeah, he said that once before. He didn't finish the sentence that time either.

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"Xander..."

[needsaparrot]

He'd said it the once, like it was obvious, and had held his breath hoping Bridge got it. He'd thought Bridge got it. Or...made himself believe, or...something.

"You know it can't be like it was before, right? I mean...I thought you did."

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

Bridge snorts. "I'm not *stupid*, Xander," he says. "I know it can't be exactly the same."

[needsaparrot]

"I don't think you're stupid." That's the last thing Xander thinks. Be a lot easier if you weren't so smart. Maybe he thinks *that*, somewhere away down where he doesn't have to look at it. Xander opens his hands wide. "But I...don't know what it is you're thinking, I guess."

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"That... that I want there to be an *us*." Bridge says quietly. "More than anything, I want that."

[needsaparrot]

"Bridge..." Okay yeah, wow, that continues to suck as an answer to anything. "We are an us. We're friends. Aren't we?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

Bridge just gives Xander the "bitch, please" look. "That's not what I meant, and you *know* that's not what I meant."

[needsaparrot]

Yeah, you could spot me about 50 IQ points and then maybe I'd have a chance of getting both of us out of this conversation intact...

Xander looks down. "Yeah, I know that's not what you meant. But... you know we can't be that kind of us. Don't you?"

[bridge-carson.livejournal.com]

"No," Bridge says stubbornly. "I don't know that. Because I don't know why *not*."

[needsaparrot]

"You're seventeen? I'm twenty-six? Special Special Hell? Tell me when the bells start ringing here."