needsaparrot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
needsaparrot) wrote2008-02-07 09:39 pm
needsaparrot) wrote2008-02-07 09:39 pm
Entry tags:
OOC: 50 Stuffs About Xander
1. Xander's middle name is LaVelle. He used to be twitchy about people knowing that, but now that he's big enough to smoosh most of the people who would've stuffed him into a locker in high school if they knew, he doesn't really care all that much. It also helps that he's since slept with the guy who holds the record for most Xander LaVelle Harris locker-stuffings. Not dirty.
2. He's still secretly relieved that Nick a) isn't his son, and b) was raised by Parker and Jarod. Not because he didn't like the kid, but because he did, and still believes he'd be just as bad a father to a boy as his own was.
3. He hasn't been home (for values of home that equal "his own dimension") since he got back to Fandom. He's terrified that if he goes back, he might get lost again.
4. He wasn't just chatting Fraser up; he really did think about being a Mountie. For about 20 minutes. But he's a sidekick, and he knows it; he works best that way. Plus he really does like to build stuff.
5. There was a point when he kind of had a crush on Jaye. He just didn't know what to do with an attraction to a girl who didn't in some way intimidate the frak out of him.
6. He thinks of both Willows as His Willow. He'll just never tell that to the one who actually gets the LJ tag.
7. Seeing Faith around Fandom makes him feel guilty for more reasons than he can start to count. Was it something I changed that made mine die? is just the one he's most willing to admit to.
8. He hates people touching his eye. Or doing much of anything that makes it look like they might be thinking about touching his eye.
9. It's a really good prosthetic; it's just never going to be good enough for Xander.
10. It's been years since he's been self-conscious about the patch; he'll never be able go without it and not feel like people are staring.
11. Guys with southern drawls still make him shudder.
12. The first time he said "frak" to Buffy she stared at him for 20 seconds and then burst into laughter. He had no idea why.
13. He once tried to get Willow to say the word "bisexual" by placing it on a triple-word-score and deliberately spelling it wrong. She just told him it was disqualified on the cross-word because there's no such thing as 'feetl' and anyway she saw him steal the y from Buffy's tiles.
14. He's...probably a Kinsey 2. It's easier with girls; he's just very unlikely to ever sleep with one again.
15. If there hadn't been an FH, he'd probably have sailed along relatively happily dating women for the rest of his life and occasionally blurting out comments he only recognized as inordinately gay after he heard himself say them.
16. He tries to not, y'know, poke at Willow's frog fear? But he doesn't get it. Clowns are freaky, yo; frogs are just...frogs.
17. He may be the only person in existence besides Sheila Rosenberg who remembers that Willow plays the piano. He's fairly sure even Willow's blocked it out.
18. This is possibly a good thing because to the best of his recollection she played it only slightly better than he played the flugelhorn. Not that his recollection is all that good, because even if he didn't count as "people" he still never got to see her do it all that often.
19. Wow, did he ever fuck up with Cordelia. Wow.
20. But he still remembers the taste of Willow's mouth.
21. He can wake up at six without an alarm if he absolutely has to. He'll be jittery as hell all day, but he can do it.
22. He'd rather sleep 'til noon.
23. Sometimes he still thinks being back in Fandom is a really, really, really good dream.
24. He orders Rolling Rock mostly because his father never would. He honestly thinks Bud tastes better, but he refuses to drink anything Tony Harris would actually approve of.
25. Oddly, "not drinking at all" has never occurred to him as a solution for this and similar issues.
26. He almost slept with Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, sometime in 2005. They were just sober enough to take one look at each other before it got much further than a hand on a thigh, and burst into hysterical giggles. Yeahno.
27. He kind of wants a tattoo. He's just never figured out where or what. Aside from "not a cross" because his boyfriend's Jewish and the vampires would only laugh at him.
28. He believes in God. And gods. He's not too keen on most of the gods he's met (though Ares was hot like burning) and he doesn't have a damn clue what God is like but he knows there is one because Buffy came back.
29. In his heart of hearts, he's sorry it hurt her, he's sorry for whatever kind of crazy it might have opened up with the First Evil, but he still doesn't believe they were wrong.
30. He doesn't wish Giles was his dad; he likes Giles too much for that.
31. Sometimes he wished Joyce was his mom, though.
32. The bitch of it is, he loves his parents. Or... something. He doesn't like his father, and he doesn't get his mother, but he only pretends he's stopped wishing he did.
33. He doesn't own a car. He can still drive; he's just always rented since Sunnydale went kaboom.
34. He thinks of the Dawn in his dimension as Buffy's little sister, even though he's the only one who remembers when she wasn't, but he thinks of Fandom's Dawn as his.
35. Insofar as he thinks that way at all because see above re: sharing the Harris name with people? Not exactly a compliment in Xander's head.
36. He wants Bronwyn to be real so much that thinking about it not happening actually hurts. Like, physically. Like, can you have a heart-attack at 27? hurts.
37. He wishes he knew how to help Callisto.
38. He wishes he didn't feel guilty because he doesn't know how much of that is caring about his friend, and how much is being scared about a future that might not happen if she's not okay.
39. He's deliberately avoided meeting the newest version of Lee Adama. Bridge is a case unto himself and he'd only be looking anyway but Xander just knows he'd take one look at those arms and perving on highschoolers is wrong, dammit. Probably. Right?
40. He has never been bitten by a gremlin. He tried to convince Blair Sandburg that it was the Twinkie wrappers that kept them away; now he half wonders if he was accidentally right.
41. He misses Faithful. SHHHH.
42. He actually thought Rita Skeeter in her underwear was kind of hot. He will NEVER tell this to ANYONE.
43. He still says "I work for the Watchers' Council" instead of "I'm a Watcher."
44. Despite the fact that Mel is totally "My -- I mean Our -- Slayer."
45. He really can't make the call on Best. Slayer. Ever. But Mel is the only one he's ever thought of as his.
46. Xander always wanted to be Inigo, when Willow said "Let's play Princess Bride." Not for the cool sword -- but so he could pretend he had a father who would have died to protect him, one he'd die to avenge. He always played Westley, though, because Willow asked him to, and there wasn't much else he could say but "As you wish" when it came to her.
47. Jesse played Prince Humperdink, since somebody had to be the bad guy, and anyway how cool was it to actually get away with saying "hump 'er" without getting yelled at?
48. Jesse wasn't his first boycrush, or his anytime ever boycrush because he never even let himself think that way back then, but he was the first time Xander pretended not to look.
49. He doesn't wonder why they don't talk about him. Some things you just... don't.
50. Xander's much more of an asshole than he lets on; for every time he doesn't make a smartass remark when he thinks someone's said something dumb, there's one on the tip of his tongue. He just eats it, because he pictures the look on Bridge's face if Xander said it to him, and whaddya know, maybe there's some other way he could put that, huh?
2. He's still secretly relieved that Nick a) isn't his son, and b) was raised by Parker and Jarod. Not because he didn't like the kid, but because he did, and still believes he'd be just as bad a father to a boy as his own was.
3. He hasn't been home (for values of home that equal "his own dimension") since he got back to Fandom. He's terrified that if he goes back, he might get lost again.
4. He wasn't just chatting Fraser up; he really did think about being a Mountie. For about 20 minutes. But he's a sidekick, and he knows it; he works best that way. Plus he really does like to build stuff.
5. There was a point when he kind of had a crush on Jaye. He just didn't know what to do with an attraction to a girl who didn't in some way intimidate the frak out of him.
6. He thinks of both Willows as His Willow. He'll just never tell that to the one who actually gets the LJ tag.
7. Seeing Faith around Fandom makes him feel guilty for more reasons than he can start to count. Was it something I changed that made mine die? is just the one he's most willing to admit to.
8. He hates people touching his eye. Or doing much of anything that makes it look like they might be thinking about touching his eye.
9. It's a really good prosthetic; it's just never going to be good enough for Xander.
10. It's been years since he's been self-conscious about the patch; he'll never be able go without it and not feel like people are staring.
11. Guys with southern drawls still make him shudder.
12. The first time he said "frak" to Buffy she stared at him for 20 seconds and then burst into laughter. He had no idea why.
13. He once tried to get Willow to say the word "bisexual" by placing it on a triple-word-score and deliberately spelling it wrong. She just told him it was disqualified on the cross-word because there's no such thing as 'feetl' and anyway she saw him steal the y from Buffy's tiles.
14. He's...probably a Kinsey 2. It's easier with girls; he's just very unlikely to ever sleep with one again.
15. If there hadn't been an FH, he'd probably have sailed along relatively happily dating women for the rest of his life and occasionally blurting out comments he only recognized as inordinately gay after he heard himself say them.
16. He tries to not, y'know, poke at Willow's frog fear? But he doesn't get it. Clowns are freaky, yo; frogs are just...frogs.
17. He may be the only person in existence besides Sheila Rosenberg who remembers that Willow plays the piano. He's fairly sure even Willow's blocked it out.
18. This is possibly a good thing because to the best of his recollection she played it only slightly better than he played the flugelhorn. Not that his recollection is all that good, because even if he didn't count as "people" he still never got to see her do it all that often.
19. Wow, did he ever fuck up with Cordelia. Wow.
20. But he still remembers the taste of Willow's mouth.
21. He can wake up at six without an alarm if he absolutely has to. He'll be jittery as hell all day, but he can do it.
22. He'd rather sleep 'til noon.
23. Sometimes he still thinks being back in Fandom is a really, really, really good dream.
24. He orders Rolling Rock mostly because his father never would. He honestly thinks Bud tastes better, but he refuses to drink anything Tony Harris would actually approve of.
25. Oddly, "not drinking at all" has never occurred to him as a solution for this and similar issues.
26. He almost slept with Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, sometime in 2005. They were just sober enough to take one look at each other before it got much further than a hand on a thigh, and burst into hysterical giggles. Yeahno.
27. He kind of wants a tattoo. He's just never figured out where or what. Aside from "not a cross" because his boyfriend's Jewish and the vampires would only laugh at him.
28. He believes in God. And gods. He's not too keen on most of the gods he's met (though Ares was hot like burning) and he doesn't have a damn clue what God is like but he knows there is one because Buffy came back.
29. In his heart of hearts, he's sorry it hurt her, he's sorry for whatever kind of crazy it might have opened up with the First Evil, but he still doesn't believe they were wrong.
30. He doesn't wish Giles was his dad; he likes Giles too much for that.
31. Sometimes he wished Joyce was his mom, though.
32. The bitch of it is, he loves his parents. Or... something. He doesn't like his father, and he doesn't get his mother, but he only pretends he's stopped wishing he did.
33. He doesn't own a car. He can still drive; he's just always rented since Sunnydale went kaboom.
34. He thinks of the Dawn in his dimension as Buffy's little sister, even though he's the only one who remembers when she wasn't, but he thinks of Fandom's Dawn as his.
35. Insofar as he thinks that way at all because see above re: sharing the Harris name with people? Not exactly a compliment in Xander's head.
36. He wants Bronwyn to be real so much that thinking about it not happening actually hurts. Like, physically. Like, can you have a heart-attack at 27? hurts.
37. He wishes he knew how to help Callisto.
38. He wishes he didn't feel guilty because he doesn't know how much of that is caring about his friend, and how much is being scared about a future that might not happen if she's not okay.
39. He's deliberately avoided meeting the newest version of Lee Adama. Bridge is a case unto himself and he'd only be looking anyway but Xander just knows he'd take one look at those arms and perving on highschoolers is wrong, dammit. Probably. Right?
40. He has never been bitten by a gremlin. He tried to convince Blair Sandburg that it was the Twinkie wrappers that kept them away; now he half wonders if he was accidentally right.
41. He misses Faithful. SHHHH.
42. He actually thought Rita Skeeter in her underwear was kind of hot. He will NEVER tell this to ANYONE.
43. He still says "I work for the Watchers' Council" instead of "I'm a Watcher."
44. Despite the fact that Mel is totally "My -- I mean Our -- Slayer."
45. He really can't make the call on Best. Slayer. Ever. But Mel is the only one he's ever thought of as his.
46. Xander always wanted to be Inigo, when Willow said "Let's play Princess Bride." Not for the cool sword -- but so he could pretend he had a father who would have died to protect him, one he'd die to avenge. He always played Westley, though, because Willow asked him to, and there wasn't much else he could say but "As you wish" when it came to her.
47. Jesse played Prince Humperdink, since somebody had to be the bad guy, and anyway how cool was it to actually get away with saying "hump 'er" without getting yelled at?
48. Jesse wasn't his first boycrush, or his anytime ever boycrush because he never even let himself think that way back then, but he was the first time Xander pretended not to look.
49. He doesn't wonder why they don't talk about him. Some things you just... don't.
50. Xander's much more of an asshole than he lets on; for every time he doesn't make a smartass remark when he thinks someone's said something dumb, there's one on the tip of his tongue. He just eats it, because he pictures the look on Bridge's face if Xander said it to him, and whaddya know, maybe there's some other way he could put that, huh?
no subject
Yes.
no subject
no subject
no subject
That? Is the best mental image EVER.
So much love for FH!Xander despite the, y'know, having never played with him. ... Er, that sounds wrong.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
But I can't, as 13 killed me dead.
no subject
...Unless they're Angel. Or Spike. Or zombies.
Actually he'd hug Spike before hugging a zombie, but the zombie before Angel.