MCA0, Saturday Morning

[needsaparrot]

Bridge	He is somewhere in that realm between wakefulness and sleep, where nothing much matters except he's warm and comfortable. Of course, he isn't yet aware of the fact that his pillow isn't so much a pillow as... another person.
Xander	The other person, on the other hand, is warm, but blinkily realizing that 'comfortable' doesn't quite describe the situation. What with the body on top of him and his hands stuck somewhere up above his head like they are. "Nnnrgh..."
Bridge	"Huh?" a little more awake now, but not by much, he lifts his head and peers blearily at the not-a-pillow person. "Uh. Hi?"
Xander	The not-a-pillow person opens one eye. He's trying for both, but only one seems to be listening. As it were. "......Gyaaaah!"

Bridge	"Ahhh!" It's funny- a moment ago, he'd been confused but not actually startled? Now? Feeling definite startlement.
Xander	"Gyaaaaaaaaah!" And then there's flailing. Except with the hands stuck up above his head thing, and the person on top of him thing, it's more like writhing.
Bridge	"Jeez, dude, calm down," is the response to the writhing. "Just- just calm down." At this point, it's entirely possible that he's talking to *both* of them.
Xander	"Easy for you to say - you're not the one in oh em gee whatthefrak are these handcuffs?" Yup. They totally are.
Bridge	"What the frak does what the frak mean?" he replies, not actually addressing the issue of the handcuffs.
Xander	"I don't know, it just sounded right!" More writhing. "I'm the guy in the handcuffs with somebody on top of me - I should get to ask the questions. Who the hell are you?"
Bridge	"I don't know!" he admits. "Who the hell are you? And really, I think the handcuffer rather than the handcuffee should be the one asking the questions, here."
Xander	"How the hell can you not know who you--" The handcuffee freezes in his metaphorical tracks. "....crap."
Bridge	"See! See!" He points accusingly. "You probably... did something! To try and get away with, uh... whatever it is I've got you handcuffed for," he finishes lamely.
Xander	"I didn't do anything!" He's pretty sure he didn't... oh crapcrapcrap. He has no idea what he did. Among a whole metric frakton of other things he has no idea about, including but not limited to what the hell a metric frakton is. When in doubt, bluster. "You're the one that's got me pinned down and chained up! You're probably some kind of freaky serial..." Oh, that would be bad. Reminding him of it if he doesn't remember being it would be bad. "Handcuffer!"
Bridge	"I'm not a serial killer!" and then there's flailing. There will probably be more flailing when he realises that wasn't what handcuffed-guy had actually said. Out loud, anyway.
Xander	"Then why do you have me chained up?" Handcuffed-guy really wishes his hands were free. So he could flap them around because that would clearly make his point better.
Bridge	"Because..." something catches the eye of the non-handcuffed member of this duo. A shirt lying in a heap on the floor, and the glint of something metal. He leans over the edge of the bed to pick it up, and then sticks it in handcuffed-guy's face. "See! Police. I'm a cop."
Xander	Okay, admittedly that's not sounding good for the issue of did he do...something.... to get himself handcuffed. Though it's somewhat relieving on the serial killer front. Though... "How do you know I'm not the cop? That could be my shirt." Never mind that there's no way in hell that shirt would fit over his shoulders.
Bridge	"Because you're handcuffed and you have an eyepatch. So you're probably a, a pirate. Or something." Admittedly, if he is a cop, he's a cop in possession of some questionable deductive reasoning skills.
Xander	Well, that explains why he still can't open his left eye. "I could be a cop with an eyepatch. Or a secret black ops agent." Or a pirate. Ahhhh, what the hell, it beats more panicking. For the moment. "I mean does this sound piratey to you? AAAARRR. I be the dread pirate....whoeverthefrak I am."
Bridge	Which surprises a giggle out of the non-pirate. "Or maybe not," he admits. Not that he's met a real pirate- that he knows of- in order to do a comparison.
Xander	"Okay so you're a cop and I'm... something. And you arrested me. But now we don't know who we are. That about sums it up?" Summary also better than panicking. Besides, the flailing is...uncomfortable. Not just because of the handcuffs.
Bridge	"Well, you forgot the part where we're, uh," he glances down. "Kind of naked?"
Xander	Oh yay. FLAIL. "I didn't FORGET! I was REPRESSING! Thanks for the help, dude!"
Bridge	Another glance downward. "Nice repressing there, dude."
Xander	Make that two glances down, and a little more flailing. And then the flailing stops, because, well, yeah, he's really failing at the repression thing. Or at least some parts of him are. "All right, fine. Also I'm apparently gay."
Bridge	"Not necessarily," is the reply. "I mean, okay, obviously there's, uh... well obviously. But. You could be bi, you know."
Xander	"Bi?" He rolls it around on his tongue as if the meaning of the word is one of the things he's forgotten in addition to his name and whether or not he is. Or possibly as if he comes from a reality where such a concept doesn't even exist.
Bridge	"You know." He rolls his eyes. "When both men and women get that reaction out of you?"
Xander	"Oh, we have that, yeah. Uh, lemme see." He closes his eye and concentrates. "Okay, I'm mentally undressing Gwen DeMarco..."
Bridge	And suddenly he can see it, too. "Hey!" he frowns, and gives handcuffed-guy a halfhearted shove. Except the moment his hands make contact with skin, suddenly the image is that much clearer. "Cut that out."
Xander	"You don't like Gwen DeMarco?" Because, uh. Handcuffed-guy likes Gwen DeMarco. A lot. Which he guesses answers the previous question.
Bridge	"It's not that, exactly," his frown gets deeper as he wonders just how to put this. "It's more- I don't like that she can give you that sort of, uh, reaction," he says sulkily. "Plus, as soon as you said what you said, then I was picturing what you were picturing too and it was really, really weird."
Xander	"What's weird about that? It's Lieutanant Tawny. You're only human. I'm only human." Probably-not-a-pirate guy screws up his face in confusion.
Bridge	"Because I didn't mean to picture it!" is the flaily response. "I wasn't even trying, but there it was."
Xander	Probably-not-a-pirate guy? Occasionally clueless. "So then apparently you're gay?"
Bridge	"No, I don't think that's it," he frowns, and slides off the bed towards the pile of clothes on the floor. "Look, lemme see if I can find the- aha!" clipped to the belt of the grey uniform pants is a small key. He then proceeds to make handcuffed-guy... no-longer-handcuffed-guy. "Better?" he asks.
Xander	"Oh God, yeah," still-not-a-pirate-guy responds, pulling his hands down and rubbing his wrists. After a second - and because he's an idiot - he asks, "Aren't you afraid I'll try to escape, or... plunder your booty or something?"
Bridge	"Plunder my..." he snickers. "Well, first you'd have to get dressed, unless you felt like escaping naked," he points out. "And besides, look around. Someone obviously lives here, and I think... I think it might be us." He's staring at a picture on the dresser, one where not-a-pirate-guy has got his arm slung across the shoulders of someone wearing the same uniform that's currently on the floor of the bedroom. Himself, probably, he realises, though the face isn't any more familiar than not-a-pirate-guy's.
Xander	There's sitting up, now that there's not a non-Tawny-liking and possibly-gay-or-maybe-not person on top of him, and not-a-pirate -- who's really starting to have some issues with this lack of a name thing -- peers over at the photo on the dresser too. "That's you."
Bridge	"Yeah?" He can't help the goofy grin that appears on his face at that. "That's you, too, in case the eyepatch thing wasn't enough of a clue."
Xander	"I'm tall." He gets up and walks over, still peering. ...also still naked, yes.
Bridge	"I'm... not so much," is the reply, as he takes this opportunity to admire the view. "You know, if we live here? There's probably something around with my name on it, or yours. Names would be good. I can't just keep calling you not-a-pirate-guy like I have been. Uh, mentally. I haven't actually addressed you as such. Have I?"
Xander	Not-a-naked-pirate-guy looks over his shoulder and stares. "No, but that's what I've been calling myself in my head."
Bridge	"Huh," is the oh-so-eloquent reply. "It sort of just came to me," he says with a shrug. "I mean, I needed something to call you, and there it was."
Xander	"I...guess that makes sense." Not-a-pirate-guy nods, then looks around the room. "So yeah, stuff with names." He glances down. "Also? Pants. I'm feeling like pants could be a thing."
Bridge	"Yay pants," he nods in agreement, slipping on the grey uniform pants he'd found earlier before wandering over to the dresser. "There's phones..." he comments, nodding at the two cell phones resting on the dresser. Picking one of them up, he's hit with a... memory? or something. He can see himself, and the half-assembled phone spread out on the worktable. "I think this one's mine," he comments, pressing a button experimentally... ...and getting a Twinkie. "Gah! Okay, didn't expect that."
Xander	"How d'you know that one's your--" Non-pants-having-not-a-pirate-guy was busy locating pants, specifically jeans, on the floor, so he didn't catch what happened with the phone until he'd stood up and turned around. "Didn't expect what? ...Why do you have a twinkie?"
Bridge	"I got like... a flashback or a memory or something, when I picked it up, and I didn't expect the Twinkie! It just happened. I just pressed a button!" he presses it again. Another Twinkie falls out. "...My phone makes Twinkies. That's just bizarre."
Xander	"Totally bizarre. ....Can I have one?"
Bridge	"Sure," he hands one over to not-a-pirate-guy, along with the other phone, using his other hand to scroll to the contacts list. "First person listed on here is someone named 'Bridge.' Man, who names their kid after a structure?" He tentatively presses send.
Xander	The other phone starts to buzz. A twinkie is fumbled onto the dresser and a Look is Looked. "My parents, I guess? Unless it's a huge coincidence and this is somebody else calling me." And then there is peerage. "It says incoming call from... Ex-ander?"
Bridge	"Well, answer it, I guess, so we can see if I'm this ex-whoever!"
Xander	Non-piratey-pants-having-apparently-named-after-a-structure-guy presses the Talk button. "Hi, this is Bridge. Maybe. Who are you?"
Bridge	And having the other person's voice coming from both right next to him and from the little speaker by his ear was... odd. "Well, okay, so your number is the first on my list... wonder if I'm the first on yours? And what sort of name is that, anyway?" At least he's not limiting his name criticism to just the other guy. "Can I see that?" he gestures at the phone.
Xander	Maybe-probably-Bridge hangs it up and hands it over with a shrug. "Not sure how to get to the contacts list."
Bridge	"It can't be that hard," is the reply as he takes it and starts thumbing through the options. "See, there it is. I'm number one on yours," he reaches up to swat maybe-called-Bridge guy on the shoulder. "It's not Ex-ander. It's Xander. You know, with a z-sound? Like xylophone or xylograph or xenomorph. Probably short, for, oh, I dunno... Alexander?"
Xander	"Who names their kid after a xylophone?" Maybe-called-Bridge-guy sticks his tongue out.
Bridge	"Very funny." Possibly-Xander retaliates in kind.
Xander	"So I'm tall, funny, possibly bisexual, and my parents have issues." 'Bridge' nods. "Oh and I like Twinkies." He reaches for the one on the dresser. "Or maybe I'm just starving."

[OOC: Preplayed with bridge_carson, TBC much later in comments because time zones and work schedules are eeeeeeevil. Vaguely NWS in concept since yes Jamie, everyone is NAKED, but since that doesn't carry over so much in print, it's pretty tame.]